Spot The New Guy
by J359
Summary: The blues get a new guy. Unfortunately, he arrives just as the Reds get serious.
1. Chapter 1

**Spot the New Guy**

**Chapter One: **

**My first story, so be gentle! If I get good reviews I'll continue. **

"Yeah, OK, talk to you later Vic," said Church. The 28-year-old Spartan sighed.

He had just got a call from Vic, their annoying communication officer, telling Church that they were about to get a new soldier. _Great, _he thought,_ a new idiot to feed._ Sister, the last soldier they got, was a moron. "Tucker!" Church yelled, "Get over here!"

"I'm coming!" Tucker yelled back. The teal soldier walked up the ramp to the roof. "What do you want?" he muttered.

"We're getting a new recruit," Church replied. Tucker quickly looked up.

"Is it a girl?" he asked eagerly.

"Hell as I know. Wait, I thought you liked Sister?" Church asked.

"Hey, the more girls you got the better."

"Whatever," Church mumbled.

Two days later, Church woke up to the noise of a Pelican drop ship flying overhead. He put on a T-shirt and some shorts and went up to the roof. The Pelican hovered a few feet above the ground in front of the base. Out of the cargo hold appeared a gray colored Spartan. The new guy walked up the ramp and greeted Church.

"Hi," he said.

"Hey," replied Church, "what's your name?"

"Lieutenant Axel."

_Lieutenant, _Church thought_, that means he outranks me. _ After all, Church had never been officially promoted to captain. But he wasn't going to tell Axel that. "Uh, yeah, I'm Captain Church."

Axel was about to say something, but then Tucker came up the ramp. "Dang it! He's a guy. Oh yeah I'm Tucker."

"How could you tell?" Axel asked.

"I've got good eyesight." The commotion had caught the attention of Caboose and Sister.

"Hey, who's the new gray guy?" said Sister.

"New gray guy?" said Axel confusedly.

"She's colorblind," muttered Church.

"And I am Church's best friend," said Caboose.

"No, you're not!"

"Yes I am. He just doesn't want to admit it," Caboose whispered. Just then Tex decided to show up.

"What are all you losers doing up here?" she asked, obviously agitated. She looked at Axel.

"Who the heck are you?" she asked instantly.

"Axel."

"Where are you from?"

"Norway."

"Well, I'll show you to your room," said Church.

_Well, he's not a moron, _thought Church. It was the next morning, and everyone was getting ready for their jobs. "Alright, Axel, I'll take you on patrol duty," said Church. "That way you can see red base."

"Aha!" cried Tucker. "Now you won't be able to use the sniper rifle!"

"Actually, I found this other sniper rifle."

"Thanks Church." Tucker just stared. ".Heck? Dude, why didn't you tell me you found one!?"

Church shrugged. "Must have slipped my mind."

Pretty soon the gray and cobalt Spartans were standing on the ledge overlooking Red Base. "You see that red one? Yeah. That's Sarge the leader. The maroon one is Simmons, a kiss up. The orange guy is Grif, he's pretty crafty. He's a lot like me. The light red one, that's Donut."

Axel squinted. "What, you mean the pink one?"

Church looked at him, confused. "That's not pink, its more, light red."

"Church, trust me, that's pink."

"Well whatever. Anyway, that's the Red team. Don't worry, these guys are pathetic."

"Oh are we?" said a voice to their right.

Axel and Church turned around to find Sarge and Simmons pointing their guns towards them.

"Aw, crap," muttered Axel.

"Drop your weapons," Sarge commanded.

The two blues let their weapons drop too the ground.

"You, gray guy, take off your helmet," Simmons said. Axel slowly but surely, reached up to his head, and pulled his helmet off. Church finally got to see his face. He had short blond hair, barely reaching down to the middle of his ear. His bangs were about a half-inch long. His hair was a sort of a buzz cut. His blue eyes and pale face were signs that he was about in his late twenties.

"So.....what are you going to do to us?

"Well, chuckled Sarge, have you guys met a firing squad?


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the wait. I don't own rvb. Or rt. I own axel. He's mine………………..that sounded kinda gay. **

"Well, nice going Church," Axel muttered to Church.

"Oh, don't pester me," Church replied. The two Spartans stood in front of the red base wall, with Grif and Simmons pointing battle rifles at them.

Sarge stood next to them. "Well today is a significant day. We are finally going to execute those dirty blues!" he said with confidence.

"Excellent idea Sarge," said Simmons for the MILLIONTH time!

"Oh you are such a kis-," (guess who said that. =)

"Can it, scumbag!" shouted Sarge.

"Oh this is such a momentous event."

"Strawberry shortcake, fetch me my camera!"

"You have got to be kidding me," said Church. "Please tell me you have a plan," he whispered to Axel.

"I'm thinking. Ok let's see, if Church can pull of a distraction, then I sneak off to the warthog, get on the gun and blast away. That won't be too hard, because Simmons and Grif are idiots."

"Um, new guy," Simmons asked, "you know we can hear you, right?"

Axel looked up. "Oh was I thinking out loud?"

"If that's what you call thinking." Said Grif.

Church sighed. "Well crap."

"Here you go Sarge." Said Donut walking to him with a camera.

"Alright men, ready, aim, FIRE!"

"Hey Tucker, have you seen my two best friends?"

Tucker whirled around to face Caboose.

"Ok, first of all, Axel and Church are not your best friends. They're not even just friends. And second of all no, I haven't."

"They have been gone a long time," Caboose said.

"Church is probably just showing Axel the caves."

"I will go find them!" Caboose said as he marched down the ramp.

When the smoke cleared Church looked around. The bullets had missed him!

Axel on the other hand was not so lucky. He was hopping up and down, clutching his knee.

"DAMN IT, oh my God that hurt!" Axel yelled in pain.

"Oh, the smoke covered the shot," whined Sarge. "We'll have to do it again."

Church looked at Axel. "Come on, let's get out of here."

"Ok."

Axel got a good two feet before falling over.

Church sighed and began to drag Axel towards the warthog.

"Hey, where did they go?" Grif asked.

"The Blues, they're trying to escape!" Sarge yelled.

"Ok Church, I can walk." Axel groaned.

_We're so close, _Church thought. They were just a few feet from the warthog.

Then they heard a gun cock.

"Freeze." Said an unfamiliar voice.

Church turned his head to see who had talked. He saw a _**new red soldier.**_

He wore armor that had maroon and red stripes.

"Hey, who's he?" Axel asked.

Before Church had time to tell him he had no clue, Sarge came running towards them.

"Great work Jessica." He said proudly.

"Wait, _**Jessica?**_ Church said in surprise.

"_**You're a girl!"**_


	3. Annual Blood Gulch Meeting

**That's right. I'm not dead.**

Caboose trudged towards Red base in hope of finding out where Church and Axel had gone. They weren't on the cliffs, or in the caves. He thought that private biscuit at Red base could help. Suddenly he heard gunshots from Red base. He ran forward to see what was going on.

"Did you hear that?" Tucker asked Tex. "Yeah," replied Tex, "it was probably just Sarge trying to kill that orange guy."

"But that didn't sound like a shot gun blast."

"Why do you care?"

"I'm just curious."

"Then go check it out."

"By myself?"

"Oh my God Tucker."

"Do you have anything better to do?"

Tex got up and sighed.

"Fine let's go."

Axel and Church stared at Jessica.

"What," she said," You guys never seen a girl before?"

"We have, but…we don't get many out here." Church replied.

They only had two girls, unless you counted Shelia.

Sister was an idiot, and Tex? Well, Tex was Tex.

Grif and Simmons came walking up.

"Hey Sarge?" Grif asked "We might have, accidently, forgotten to bring more ammo, because somebody may have forgotten about them. And by someone, I mean Simmons."

"What?" Simmons exclaimed, "It was your job!"

"Church, Axel! I found you guys!" Caboose called out of nowhere

Church turned around, only to confirm his fears. There was Caboose, running towards his, smiling and waving. Church couldn't believe how horrible this situation was about get. Caboose ran up to him, ignoring the fact that all of the Red Team was aiming all of their weapons at him.

Church was caught in the embrace of his fellow Blue soldier, and Axel could be glad he was standing behind Church.

"Caboose, what the Hell are you doing here?" Church asked, still trying to get out of Caboose's hug.

"I could not find you guys, so I came here to ask Private Biscuits where you guys were, but now I found you!" he said, as though Church could give a crap about what he was doing.

"Caboose, were in the middle of a serious battle situation here!" Church angrily told him.

"Battle situation?" Axel inquired, as he raised his eyebrows, "We're surrounded by our enemy, unarmed, and we seem to be pissing the Reds off." He motioned to the Red Team leader, Sarge, who was started to get annoyed by his enemy's stupidity.

"All right listen up!" The Sergeant said in his loudest command voice, (which he usually reserved for yelling at Grif).

"All Blues line up! We're gonna kill half the enemy team now, and nothing will stop us!"

"What are you idiots doing?" Tex said, as she and Tucker entered the area, leaving Sarge to curse in the background.

"Um…we're um…..kinda…." Church said, trying to find some way to explain the situation.

"We're surrounded, unarmed, and about to die." Axel finished for him.

Tex took the moment to look around the rag-tag team of idiots that made up her own and the opposing army. Her view turned to Jessica, and her eyes narrowed.

"Who the hell are you?" The Freelancer asked.

"Jessica".

…

…

Before Tex could reply, the last remaining Blue member, Sister, came running up.

"Hey guys, what's up?" She asked.

"ALL RIGHT," Sarge yelled,"We're gonna execute all the Blue's, now!"

"Wait!" Tucker said, "Why would you kill us all now? Then there would be no more blues to fight!"

Sarge considered this for a second.

"Aww, I really wanted to kill you all!" He finally answered

"Don't worry Sarge," Simmons said, "I'll draw you some pictures of The Blues, and you can shoot at them."

"Thanks Simmons, you always know what makes me happy."

The Maroon soldier beamed under his superior officers compliments.

"Wait, we're just gonna let them go like that?" Grif asked. "Shouldn't we negotiate or something?"

"Can it meat-sack." Sarge said.

"But sir, if I may," Jessica said, shouldn't we at least get something out of this?"

"That's a great idea Jessica!" Sarge said, patting Jessica on the back.

"What?!" Grif Yelled.

"Oh, so it's like when we surrender." Caboose said.

"How about Axle gives you guys something?" Tucker suggested.

"Wait," said the previously mentioned soldier, "What??"

A few minutes later, the Blues walked back to their base, while Axel whined about having to give Donut his phone number.

**Sorry that this took so long. **

**Next, on spot the new guy, (If I'm still alive at that point.)**

**Axel keeps getting texts form Donut and Simmons feels challenged by Jessica.**

**P.S I' gonna get Halo 3 soon.**


End file.
